Mario Bros vs Beavis & Butthead



Mario Bros vs Beavis and Butthead is the fourth installment of Rap Ranter. It's a review of Mario Bros vs Beavis and Butthead by Shazam7121. It was released on December 6th, 2015.

B-Lo Lorbes:
Words cannot describe what I just went through. I have witnessed an unexplainable rap battle, and it wasn't even a joke battle. This was made by Shazam7121, and...this is a piece of shit, like, how can I explain it? It sucks balls, that's pretty much the whole summary. Let me just tell you what it is: it's a rap battle between the Mario Brothers and Beavis and Butt-Head.

(As he says the names, pictures of the characters appear.)

Like, ''what? There is no connection besides duos, so the moment I looked at this, I wasn't really expecting anything good...but what I saw...what I saw was literally ''Hell itself. And I decided I shouldn't be the only one that has to go through this horror trip from Hell. You're coming with me. Roll this piece of shit!

Battle
(Note: Mario and Beavis are in bold, Luigi and Butt-Head are underlined, and B-Lo is in regular text.)

(A rainbow background is seen. The logo comes onto the screen.)

Announcer:
MUGEN Rap Battles of History!

(The announcer pronounces it like "Moogen Rap Battaas of Histahreey!)

B-Lo:
What kind of title is this? MUGEN is just a fighting game based on random characters. Maybe that's what he was going with; he chose random characters and put them together. Look at the quality of this! Gay-ass looking background and shit. And listen to how he says it!

Announcer:
MUGEN Rap Battles of History!

(B-Lo mocks it by making incomprehensible sounds that sound like how the announcer said the title.)

Announcer:
Match 4!

B-Lo:
Oh my god, I'm hating it more!

Announcer:
The Mario Brothers!

(The Mario Bros's title card is shown...with poorly keyed out sprites.)

B-Lo:
Why would you key out the sprites on the white background? I've got better quality than this, and that's saying something!

Announcer:
VS! Beavis and Buttheaaaaaaaaad!

(Beavis and Butt-Head's title card is shown, with their poorly keyed out faces right up close to the screen)

B-Lo:
Jesus Christ, that shit is scary!

Announcer:
BEGIN!

Mario:
It's the Mario Brothers, and we fight you

'''Beavis and Butt-Head? What a joke! You're the MTV stars? Well, your show is just the worst!'''

B-Lo:
How can I explain this? Who wrote this shit? I can't even make a good joke about this! These lyrics are the shittiest ones I have ever seen! It's more shitty ghetto freestyle, honestly. Actually, to be honest, I think that's better! He doesn't even rap on beat, the impressions are ass, the editing is just crazy enough for me to make my face cringe so much that it made a black hole, sucking my face in even more!

Mario:
I'll be a Paper to Paper you all and die

B-Lo:
''How does this make sense? ''I mean, yeah, Paper Mario, but the grammar is a bunch of shit! "I'll Paper you?" How can you not see what's going on here? And what's with the animation of Mario jacking it? I don't get it!

Mario:
Call us the Wright Bros, cause we're the fathers of light

B-Lo:
They're not the fathers of light, you dumbass. And why make a reference to ERB? The Wright Brothers aren't even called the "fathers of light!" It's ''flight! Get it right!''

Luigi:
Go back to your TV and we'll change your channel to a scary show

B-Lo:
Like this battle wasn't scary enough.

Luigi:
'Cause we're in the Mansion to scare you like ghosts

B-Lo:
''I can't take this seriously! Who wrote this shit?!''

Luigi:
I'll cause so much fear on me Doctor you losers

Mario and Luigi:
We're almost defeating you, just call us Bowser!

B-Lo:
Oh my god, I can't understand your first-grader language!

Beavis:
Shut the fuck up!

B-Lo:
Oh, you shut the fuck up! I don't even think Beavis or Butt-Head swear that hard! This battle is a dog pile of cow balls!

Beavis:
'''You want to battle us? (chuckle) Say me, Butt-Head'''

B-Lo:
(in a disbelieving tone)

Say me Butt-Head???

Butt-Head:
Uh, these Mario Dumbs are getting little and little

B-Lo:
I never thought someone could actually make Beavis and Butt-Head more stupid than they already are!

Butt-Head:
We'll push you and suck the lava dick

B-Lo:
"Suck the lava dick," oh my god.

Butt-Head:
You're getting Dumb and Dumber!

B-Lo:
Why make a "Dumb and Dumber" refrence to Mario and Luigi? Jesus Christ!

Beavis:
You're both representing Nintendo?

Well, we're representing MTV!

("Representing" is misspelled twice as "represting")

B-Lo:
How could you fuck up the spelling for "representing" twice? In the same fucking sentence?!

Butt-Head:
Uh? This battle is over

Beavis and Butt-Head:
We killed you all by the Beavis and Butt-Head fuckers!

Announcer:
Time over!

B-Lo:
Thank god it's over! This battle was a bunch of mother fucking semen-filled, ass-smelling, cock-sucking, body-cringing, donkey-licking, fly-swarming ''shit! ''I mean seriously, how much effort could you have less of than this?! The editing: ech! The rapping: ech! The lyrics: blech! I'm glad they both have one verse, cause I don't think I could have taken this anymore! This battle is a bunch of elephant diarrhea! This ''sucks! ''*deep breath* I need an aspirin. My brain can't take much more. I'll see you guys whenever I heal from this. Maybe I'll review something not cringey to make it better. I'll see you soon.